Clean YOUR ROOM!

"Clean your room Farryn...pick up your toys, put your dirty clothes in the hamper and your books back on the book shelf!"

I spent an hour trying to get her to pick up after herself and finally threatened a spanking. I told her if she didnt make some progress on her room within 10 minutes there would be a hard pat on her "bulla". Finally she started getting busy! While I'm folding clothes in the other room I hear this...

Charlyse (1 year old): (High pitch parrot sqwuaking with excitement as she's pulling down books from the bookshelf).

Farryn: "OHHH MAN! Charlye top it! If I get a spankin' I gonna be soooo mad at you! Charlye NO! Put that BACK! MOOOOOMMM!!! COME GET YER KID!"

Me: (laughing) "Something wrong?"

Farryn: "She is dwiving me crazy! Take her to yer room. (Now fanning herself) Turn off the heat and put on the 'told' air...I can't work like this!"

Fashionable Farryn

Farryn: "It was nice of Nana to buy me these boots! Aren't they TUTE Mama?"

Me: "Yes, they sure are...you're gonna be stylin' in your Ugg boots!"

Farryn: "My what?"

Me: "Your Ugg boots, well they aren't really Uggs but they look like them."

Looking a little confused she walks away and occupies her self with the her new pet Guinea Pig for a little while. Two hours later she comes down stairs in just her panties and new boots...

Farryn: "Look at me Mom, I'm wearing my tute 'Ugly' boots!"

A year with Farryn...

This is a collection of stories from the past year we've had with our three year old Daughter Farryn. She says some of the funniest things and I've made a point to jot them down immediately so one day she can read them in her baby book...but until then, yall can enjoy them too!

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Farryn: "Mama, I saw your boobies today! Why you got so little boobies?"

Me: ::::sigh:::: "That's just what God gave me Farryn."

Farryn: "Well, did he see 'em or did you have yer shirt on when he gave 'em to you?"

Me: "Um....I had my shirt on?"

Farryn: "Oooohhh okay. Well....that wasn't very nice of him then."

(MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY!)

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Me: "Farryn how is your dinner?"

Farryn: "Well...(long pause as she stares right into my eyes) I really like the tea!"

(Note to self: Don't have high hopes and expect your kids to get excited about Tortilla Soup.)

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Eating at the dinner table she suddenly stops and shivers..."I am soaking cold Mom!" Really? That cold huh? ;)

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Farryn: "No more curly fries for me, they give me bottom boosies!" (Thanks Nana!)

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Farryn quietly went up to her room to get her blanket and came down to the bottom of the stairs and cuddled up on the last step. When I asked her if she was feeling okay she said, "Yep, I'm just fine....my forehead is taking a nap. Just a tiny one!" She was right, her forehead tooka 7 minute nap and then went right back to playing.

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Me: "Why is she still screaming Farryn? What did you do to her??"

Farryn: "Ugh!!! I REALLY don't wanna talk bout it Mom!"

Me: "Well you're going to! What did you do?"

Farryn: "She was fwusterating me and pulled down the DVD pwayer! I told her over and over 'NO NO NO' but she did not listen!!! I spanked her lil hand REALLY hard and it hurt my hand!!! Sooooo annoyed-ing!!'

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Jesse: "Hey Holly, have we figured out what we are doing for Thanksgiving?"

Me: "Yeah, my aunt is having a little thing at her house."

Jesse: "Oh thats right, well can we bring anything? Maybe the turkey?"

Farryn doesnt even look up from playing on the floor and quickly answers "No, we don't have the money for that right now!" I guess the excuse for not getting candy everytime we go to the store has stuck with her!

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Farryn's "EMO" (email) to Santa:

"Dear Santa, I wanna teddy bear hammer (hamster), a pink tage (cage) and a pink "balloon" for her to run around in. I'm gonna name her Arianna Dacey Poopey Girl!!! (Niiice!)

Farryn: "Oh and does your girlfwiend...Mama what her name is?"

Me: "Santa's wife? Mrs. Clause?"

Farryn: "OH wight! Does Mrs. Cloose love me?"

Me: "Farryn, everyone loves you!"

Farryn: "Yep Yep (now singing) ER-BODY LOVES ME! ER-BODY LOVES ME!"

Santa replied back with an "Absolutely not!" but Mrs. "Cloose" has her ways! ;)

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Farryn: "Mama where is God?"

Me: "He's in heaven."

Farryn: "What is heaven?"

Me: "Heaven is up in the sky where good people go when they die."

Farryn: "Where do bad people go?"

Me: "Um...they go down below the ground to a place called Hell!"

Farryn: "::::GASP:::: The dinosaurs are in HELL????" ( I was stumped on that one for days!)

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Who knew the explanation to the expression "Lets get your ready for the ball" could ever be so entertaining! Three year olds definately have a different perspective on figurative speech! Next time I'll just say "Lets get you ready to go run some errands" and save myself 30 minutes of questioning.

Farryn: "Ready for a BALL? What kind of ball? Baseball Mama? Or Football? I HATE BALLS! (good to know!) 'Member that one time them balls hit me in the face Mama, 'member that? How many balls am I gonna see? Oh its a dance? I wanna dance!!! Hannah Tanna dances really TUTE in that movie!!! 'Member when we saw that Hannah Tanna Movie Mama? That movie was soooo funnay!"

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The other night I sent Farryn in to go start her bath water...two minutes later I walk in to find her already in the bathtub, socks still on! I start laughing, she looks down and says "OH M GAWD!!! I'm sooo silly! My socks got all wet!!" She's taking after me more and more every day!

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We get to the car to go meet Nana for lunch one day and realize Jesse forgot to put the carseats back in my car from the night before. Before I can even explain to Farryn why we can't leave just yet I hear this..."OH UH! Thumbody's gonna be in twouble!" (She really gets me!!) ;)

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Thankfully after my pinky finger surgery I had alot of help with the girls from our family. One day when my mother in law (who is a little hard of hearing) was over watching the girls while I slept off the pain I overheard the following conversation...

Farryn: "G-maw I'm dirsty!"

G-maw: "WHAT?"

Farryn: "I'M DIRSTY!!!"

G-maw: "I know you wanna watch TV but we can't right now, I can't figure out this darn remote!

Farryn: "G-maw thats not what I said!"

G-maw: "WHAT?"

Farryn: "NOT WHAT I SAID!!!"

G-maw: "Of course you can have some bread!

Farryn: (now walking away) "Oh what-erer G-maw!!!"

I managed to use my good hand to send out a mass text to a few people on that one. Too funny not to share with everyone who knows and could appreciate the situation!

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Knowing Mommy is accident prone, "Slow down there hot tuff! and "Watch yerself big girl!" are two phrases that I've been hearing more than I would like these days!

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Me: "We are going to eat lunch Farryn...what do you wanna eat?"

Farryn: "BOYS!!!"

Me: "Uh, you can't eat that!"

Farryn: "Why not?"

Me: "Because Baby, they DO NOT taste good!"

Farryn: "Yeah-huh! Just put some sauce on em!"

(A little man-eater in the making...lord help us!)

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"Who is this God man? Er-body keeps talking bout the God man. Where he live? I wanna go to his house! Why was he in the river? Was he taking swimming lessons??" I'm ashamed to admit she was paying more attention to the sermon than I was.

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Farryn: "Hey Mama, I want yer fries!"

Me: "Grammy said you already had lunch."

Farryn: "Well...I still hunnry! Give me them fries!"

Me: "That is NOT how you ask and NO, you cannot have any. These are my fries."

Farryn: "Tut it out Mama, I'm gonna get them fries and THAT IS IT! Why are you waffin at me? Oh Mama look at that TUTE PUPPY!!!"

(The little heifer then pulled a Houdini out of her carseat and snatched my darn fries!)

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Farryn: "Mama wil my bweakfast make me get bigger?"

Me: "Yes."

Farryn: "Will it make me have long hair like you?"

Me: "Yes."

Farryn: "Will it make me go poo-poo?"

Me: "Uh...sure."

Farryn: "Will it make me get big BOOBIES???"

Me: (Now laughing) "Why yes, yes it will. Now eat up!"

Farryn: "Here Mama, you should eat some too!"

(Someone get me some ice for that wicked burn!)

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Two weeks before her baby sister is born Jesse and I are sitting on the couch watching TV and Farryn comes out of her room with her purse, her piggy bank and her little heels. "I'm gonna run away otay? I got my money and I gonna run away! Where are my teys??"

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Jesse: "Hey Farryn, say 'Okey dokey smokey'!"

Farryn: "Sokey Pokey Dokey!"